Shitty. Shit. Shit. And piss.

Let's cut to the chase. We wanted to try emptying the holding tank at the pump out station. And we are morons so we decided to do it on a day when the wind was ridiculous and made coming up alongside the dock pretty much impossible.

I'll spare you the grisly details and the name calling, but know that at one point, Mack was at the helm, I was on the dock, Kenutu's ass was tied off to the pump out dock, and her nose was as far from the dock as a nose can be. Mack wanted to untie and try again, I wanted to solve it. Another couple who are also boaters heard what must be a familiar tone and came to help. We used lines to pull her in and got her nose tied off too. We then cleat hopped her forward to the pump-out station. And after all that shitty-ness,  it was time to handle the literal shit.

I put on gloves, which make me feel empowered to touch anything. If I were a superhero, I'd skip the cape and go right for the gloves. Mack took a post at the pump-out station controls and let me do the dirty work. 

We were pump out virgins before this experience, so if you don't care how it works or don't like hearing about shit and pee, you probably want to move on. The pump out looks like a big gas station nozzle, but instead of pumping gas into a tank, it has a rubber cap that seals over the mouth of the holding tank when suction is turned on. The tube from the nozzle is mostly opaque, but there is a short section that is translucent. This lets you see all the turds and pee coming from the box that lives under your bed. This is not where sweet dreams come from.

After you suck all/most of the gross bits out, you use the water hose that's by the pump out station to put some clean water into the holding tank, thereby giving it a flush or a rinse. Then, you repeat the poop/pee sucking process and suck out the water. You are wearing gloves, you've got this.

You really cannot imagine the aromas this little space is capable of emitting.

Feeling a little bit redeemed by a successful shit removal, we discussed our dock departure plan and left with more confidence and cooperation than we arrived with. Maybe someday we'll learn not to make a shitty situation worse by being shitty to each other. Or we'll become experts at name calling and eye rolling.